I hate daycare drop-off.
I really needed to get that off my chest.
Three days a week, my daughter goes to daycare. Three days a week, I feel like a horrible mother abandoning my child, throwing her to a pack of wolves I know nothing about aside from the fact that they don’t love her like I do. Three days a week, I’m an emotional mess when I log into work, often signing onto a virtual morning meeting feeling like I’m the hot mess square among the perfect Brady Bunch Zoom windows of my colleagues.
Don’t get me wrong, I actually really like my daughter’s daycare. And I think it’s good for her. She is a super happy kid and seems to enjoy her time at “school” - she eats all of her snacks and meals, is always smiling in the pictures her teachers send during the day, and she comes home happy and full of hugs. She also does a ton of cool activities I know for a fact she would not be doing with me at home (cleaning up paint-covered feet just isn’t my idea of fun!!).
But man, the act of dropping her off is heartbreaking. Truly, I feel my heart break as she watches me walk away, her little bottom lip protruding in sadness, just waiting to burst into tears the second I disappear from her view. Every time, I have to fight the urge to sprint back into the room, grab her, and say GOODBYE FOREVER DAYCARE!! while we make our break for it and drive into the sunset (sunrise?) to play with toys and cuddle and eat popsicles and watch Ms. Rachel all day.
Sigh. A mom can dream.
In addition to gut-wrenching, I also find dropoff incredibly awkward. Maybe it’s just me and my specific flavor of neurodiversity, but I hate being watched as I enter the room, the teachers’ eyes on me, watching me try to contain my sadness while also trying to act like it’s a “good morning” and I hope everyone “has a great day.” It almost feels like a public humiliation ritual. Instead of silently going about their business while I’m fighting for my life, why couldn’t they greet me with a “hello Shelley! You’re so brave to be here! We love your daughter so much and will take the best care of her today! Please help yourself to a homemade cookie while we take her into our arms and find her favorite toy and make her feel loved and welcome here!”?!
Once again, a mom can dream.
If you have drop-off tips, please leave them in the comments below. Is it universally awkward and sad, or is it just me? How can I make this experience better for both of us?!
